We like to imagine that when a relationship is getting better, it should always feel calm and easy. But the truth? Real growth usually feels raw. In this episode of Resilient Minds in Relationships, Kathryn Fayle, LPC, explores why the tender, uncomfortable moments in love are not a sign of failure, but proof of healing. Drawing from stories in couples therapy, Kathryn shows how what looks like “shutting down” or “not caring” is often rooted in fear — fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of losing the person we love most. You’ll also hear how neuroscience explains these raw spots. When the brain senses emotional risk, it reacts just like physical danger. But the same wiring that triggers fight, flight, or freeze also allows partners to calm and rewire each other — simply by staying present, softening, and reaching out instead of pulling away. This episode will leave you with reflection questions, a 30-second staying challenge, and encouragement to see your raw moments as places where love can take root. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why growth in a relationship often feels uncomfortable Stories of how couples uncover the fears beneath shutdowns or silence The neuroscience of fight, flight, and freeze in relationships How couples can calm each other’s nervous systems and rewire connection. Reflection prompts and a simple practice to stay present in raw spots If you’ve ever wondered why progress doesn’t feel peaceful and how to hold onto your partner in the messy middle, this episode is for you.